I Miss You, Mom

I had a conversation with my mother before she died. I asked her if she would let me know that she is alright when she passes. I joked and said, “Don’t smack me in the head, just three taps on my shoulder.” She assured me she would, but I still made her promise. I spent 8 days in the high desert while she was in ICU. I asked her what her favorite memory was. She took off her oxygen mask and said, “You girls,’ referring to me and my sister. I knew that when her doctor ordered hospice she was not going to survive much longer. She passed on April 16th. I made the long drive home, 6 hours, and when I got home I sat on the sofa and cried. I was exhausted and grief overtook me. It was difficult to breathe. I closed my eyes and hoped I could sleep. I felt three taps on my shoulder. Some may say It was my imagination, or that I was asleep, but I was wide awake. What is strange is that my sofa has a high back and it would be impossible to tap me on the shoulder in the place where I felt it. I knew it was my mom letting me know that she is fine. That night I walked outside at midnight, looked up at the night sky and spotted a star that shone brighter than any of the others. It got bigger as I stood still. Then it blinked three times. I said, “I love you too, mom.”

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